stileshasastyle:

do u ever just like flex your foot wrong and it cramps and youre just like

this is it

this is how it ends

How To Successfully Put On A Screen Protector

little-deathly-hallow:

  1. you don’t

ohsnapitzshadow:

clannyphantom:

rubee:

I HEARD A DOG BARK TODAY AND I BARKED BACK AND IT REPLIED THE EXACT SAME WAY AND WE WENT BACK AND FORTH UNTIL MY FRIEND TOLD ME THAT IT WAS JUST MY VOICE ECHOING AND I HAD BEEN BARKIG BY MYSELF FOR 5 MINUTES STRAIGHT

BUT WHO BARKED THE FIRST TIME

Go to sleep

  • Girlfriend: Why didn't you reply to my last text?
  • Me: How do I reply to 'lol'?
  • polaroidparties:

    Me getting proposed to:
    Him: “Will you marry me?”
    Me: “Aight haha”

    theonewhopotterheads:

    I’m baby sitting and one of the girls who is 3 yrs old, she’s telling me a story so she was just like “in the 90s, when kings and queens ruled..” and I started to cry

    A thing that actually happened today

  • My friend: my mom got a Facebook and she won't add me because she says I'm not cool enough.
  • bladetheroosterteethfanguy:

    did anyone else hear about the origami store?
    it folded

    nina-and-the-rhinestones:

    person: ur not funny

    me:

    image

  • Mum: Stay in line honey, I forgot the milk. *leaves*
  • Me: Okay.
  • *gets closer to the register*
  • Me: mum?
  • *gets even closer to the register*
  • Me: mum, where are you?
  • *sees the person in front of you paying*
  • Me: ohmygod ohmygod ohmyg...
  • Clerk: Next!
  • Me: *faints*
  • ratchet-slim-shady:

    im scrolling down

    im yelling tumblr

    back-flippin:

    Drinking game: Drink every time you die in flappy bird

    ohgoonseriously:

    People who take a bite out of a KitKat without breaking it up first make me uncomfortable

    greelin:

    cyberuser:

    i remember when i was 5 i used to take dancing lessons and there was this kid in 7th grade who’d make fun of me and call me “gay” but the jokes on him because i gave his younger cousin a handjob at camp so who’s gay now

    i think you’re still technically gay

    trogdorthe-burninator:

    daves-applejuice:

    qodtiers:

    i fucking looked up eggs with legs and i’m

    image

    why are they in a cage?

    otherwise they’ll eggscape